Collections of thoughts

And this is what we have, Hope..

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And so a friend said, “It is amazing that people who are vulnerable are those who can really speak from the heart and touch others’ hearts.

“Just open your heart, vulnerability is God’s instrument to humble us and open our hands for his blessing”

I often look forward to my chemo schedules, it’s usually every third Tuesday of the month.  Not that I am getting too comfortable with chemo it’s just that I look forward to the people I meet.  For me, every experience is different. By the way, yes it is different for me now because my oncologist changed my Chemo to Toxeter, which is given in the other room and this is where I have seen different people. Men, women, and even young people who are undergoing chemo. 

Today is particularly interesting coz’ I met a woman, 2 years half more than my age. She was full of life, smiling and even doing her piece of art, her beading. While in bet I looked at her and said I liked her bead work and that my daughter does beading too but just the 1/2 inch bracelets. The lady’s beadwork was more complicated that she even made a watch out of it.  It was  piece of art. She smiled and said, “you have a daughter? and I said yes, the one who does beading is 14”. Then I went on and said, “I have 3 kids”. She couldn’t believe I have two teenagers and 1 adult. But then imagine she’s 82 years old, still able to move around, jolly, and with a great sense of humour. I asked her secret and she said, “I have a personal trainer for about ten years now, I do some weights at times and just eat my veggies and those healthy stuff”. 

Isn’t that interesting, here I am 44 on chemo and not in my best shape I suppose. One thing I get out of this is the hope she exudes, her whole outlook of being positive radiates to everyone she meets. She’s having chemo and radiation all in the same day.  And here she is with her beadwork and uplifting spirit.  

So I said to myself, it is the hope we share, no matter what circumstances we are in, it’s having the ability to share the hope that we too have.  This is my 4th chemo and as the pharmacist explained, the side effects of the drug I have now is a bit worse than my first three cycles. Sounds scary  and I am a bit scared but then again, to have a wider perspective in my current situation, I do have to keep an open mind and keep asking God for strength. There were times when I felt down because of this new journey yet it is a new journey that brings hope requiring constant focus on God.  

I should say, I have embraced a new community of people where I share the same sentiments, same feelings though not exactly the same treatment, but there’s one thing that we have in common, it is the hope of healing, the promise of a better future and the life we share with others so that they may also learn from what we have.  For sure I have learned a lot from my present state, and I am continuously learning from it too. 


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