Once I went to the bookstore. I wanted to buy a certain book I needed for my class. I sieved closely through the book section. I got close enough to see and touch every book, one after the other but I still couldn’t find the book I was looking for. I knew I was at the right section. Then I moved a few steps back to have a better view and tried backing up a bit so that I could see whole collection of books. Finally I was able to find that illusive book. It was located at the upper right corner of the book shelf which I failed to see when I was looking at the books at a closer range. At that moment, I realized sometimes it is not easy to see things right away especially when things are too close. Thus maybe backing up a bit to have a better view of the bigger picture will help in going through situations that seem to be unclear. (To be continued more coming in My Experience with Cancer – it is better when God is in the Picture by Jm Gabe)
The compass I follow leads me to places that are sometimes uncomfortable, memorable and joyful but I always pick up and carry treasures that I know will help me make it to my next journey.
And so a friend said, “It is amazing that people who are vulnerable are those who can really speak from the heart and touch others’ hearts.
“Just open your heart, vulnerability is God’s instrument to humble us and open our hands for his blessing”
I often look forward to my chemo schedules, it’s usually every third Tuesday of the month. Not that I am getting too comfortable with chemo it’s just that I look forward to the people I meet. For me, every experience is different. By the way, yes it is different for me now because my oncologist changed my Chemo to Toxeter, which is given in the other room and this is where I have seen different people. Men, women, and even young people who are undergoing chemo.
Today is particularly interesting coz’ I met a woman, 2 years half more than my age. She was full of life, smiling and even doing her piece of art, her beading. While in bet I looked at her and said I liked her bead work and that my daughter does beading too but just the 1/2 inch bracelets. The lady’s beadwork was more complicated that she even made a watch out of it. It was piece of art. She smiled and said, “you have a daughter? and I said yes, the one who does beading is 14”. Then I went on and said, “I have 3 kids”. She couldn’t believe I have two teenagers and 1 adult. But then imagine she’s 82 years old, still able to move around, jolly, and with a great sense of humour. I asked her secret and she said, “I have a personal trainer for about ten years now, I do some weights at times and just eat my veggies and those healthy stuff”.
Isn’t that interesting, here I am 44 on chemo and not in my best shape I suppose. One thing I get out of this is the hope she exudes, her whole outlook of being positive radiates to everyone she meets. She’s having chemo and radiation all in the same day. And here she is with her beadwork and uplifting spirit.
So I said to myself, it is the hope we share, no matter what circumstances we are in, it’s having the ability to share the hope that we too have. This is my 4th chemo and as the pharmacist explained, the side effects of the drug I have now is a bit worse than my first three cycles. Sounds scary and I am a bit scared but then again, to have a wider perspective in my current situation, I do have to keep an open mind and keep asking God for strength. There were times when I felt down because of this new journey yet it is a new journey that brings hope requiring constant focus on God.
I should say, I have embraced a new community of people where I share the same sentiments, same feelings though not exactly the same treatment, but there’s one thing that we have in common, it is the hope of healing, the promise of a better future and the life we share with others so that they may also learn from what we have. For sure I have learned a lot from my present state, and I am continuously learning from it too.
A New Journey for me, closing a chapter in my life moving to a new one while carrying with me memories of days where I looked forward to going to work, driving north to 400, thanking God for the beautiful sceneries.
Those were the days when I just hop in my car, driving to favourite places such as High Park for breakfast or up North, west or east to explore sceneries, culture and people and just doing those day-to-day activities.
A bit of change, a new normal. Uncomfortable, Yes. Limitations? yes but a matter of perspective. I pray for strength. I live, love, walk with faith and continue to travel focusing on getting well and living well.
I share my life, I wrap myself with the grace of God, the love of my family and friends and the life I show to my community. At the end of the day, a chapter has closed with new experiences and lessons learned. All these I carry towards my new beginning.
At the end of the day, I am me – learning and growing as life unfolds. I am me, keeping an open mind, I hold on to my faith in God,the confidence of knowing and walking with Christ; The promise of hope and love as I look towards another chapter in my life.
I thought I wouldn’t be celebrating my birthday this year so I planned to relax and not to do any cooking at all but it turned out my friends from work dropped by and brought the party with them. Friends from church came after a few hours, they also brought food with them. Then another surprise, my husband’s cousin dropped by that evening . It was all unexpected. It was one of those moments when I’m reminded of wonderful people who know how to cheer people up especially during moments of trials. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support.
Creating opportunities for personal and professional Growth, Turning challenges into opportunities and opportunities to probabilities
Balance keeps you afloat
Journey by Grace
Journey by Grace
Journey by Grace